it's a sad thing...

i'm sitting here, as i have for the past few hours, listening to cds with the history channel on mute with sub titles, and watching the level of wine in the bottle i'm drinking (by myself) slump lower and lower. i was just pondering why it shouldn't really be a problem to smoke a cigarette in my house but my ego squashed that idea like a stupid pathetic bug. ah rational brain. how...more wine. i'm happy being sad.

oh and i just remembered... i saw this guy on tv today. my heart went all a'flutter.