Is anyone else really getting sick of those scenes in movies where one of the characters gets caught saying something about the person who just happens to be standing right behind them? Because I am.

I feel like I have a head full of interesting things to say right now but I lack the energy to form them into cohesive sentences. Sorry.

It's that old familiar feeling again. I'm not really sure what brought it on this time. I'll blame it on the weather because I can't shake the feeling that I just want to curl up and hide out for the next few cold months until its over. Or if I decided to blame it on the quart of snot my brain is swimming through on a daily basis, then maybe I could just ask myself why I avoid taking cold medicine to "fix" it. Then again, why do I avoid taking any kind of medicine every other day of my life? Why do I avoid doctors? Why do I avoid responsibilities, to myself, to life in general?

For someone with such low expectations it amazes me how often I feel disappointed. And this... is pointless, like everything else.

Not that I would expect this of anyone but, if any person who knows me well enough to know how much I love The Wizard of Oz, and knows that the special editions are coming out on Tuesday, and was planning to buy it for me... Don't. Margot has dibs for it to be my Xmas present because she rules.

Ok. I watch a LOT of info-mercials because of issues that I won't go into for the millionth time. Now I've seen a lot of crazy wonderful things on these info-mercials but never have I seen something that I've dreamt of in my most boring dreams... A carpet comb. Now let me explain what this is so that some bastard can go out, make it and make a fuck ton of money off my brilliance. Throw the name Susan at it somehow and I'll call it a fair trade...

The Carpet Comb. See I have long hair and carpet on the floor of my room. The combination is not very nice though. You see, every day I wake up and take a shower and brush my hair. I stand in my room, specifically in front of my mirror, to do this and I find that I always have to check to see that the floor isn't fucked from rogue strands of hair. (Which could lead to an interesting tangent thought that I have about rogue strands of hair, in general, but I'm holding back. Perhaps another time.)

Now the reason I know that this would be a wonderful product is because my issues with finding hair in the carpet isn't isolated to morning grooming habits. It's constantly. Just as I sat down to check my email today, moments ago, I was horrified by feeling one of my own hairs on my foot, yards away from where it was brushed. Have you ever climbed into bed and found a single hair wrapped around your toes so that you don't notice it at first but later when you discover the hint of discomfort you have to search to find the source? I have. Have you ever put on a sock and discovered that somehow between lifting your foot and putting the sock on a single hair is sandwiched between toes and sealed in to the foot/sock combination? I have.

So either I'm shaving my head or one of you bitches is going to make this for me. It would be so easy. I bet I could hold out with a wide toothed comb but I want an actual Carpet Comb. I'd pay for it if I saw it on TV. It would be beautiful- and considering the recent display of many "in between vacuum" products that I saw just last night it seems to be the time.

Speaking of vacuuming... You might be wondering why I don't just vacuum more regularly. Well first off, I'm lazy but besides that I still have to run my fingers over my carpet before I vacuum anyhow because the hair clogs the vacuum and my mom gets pissed. So then I have to sit there with scissors and pry the tightly wound hair out of the bottom of the vacuum. It's not fun. I'd like to never do that again. Maybe the Carpet comb can be taken a step farther and made into an actual vacuum attachment somehow.

This is my challenge for the world for today. If anyone makes any progress email me about it. I'd like to know. I would offer to help financially but that idea is laughable considering how broke I am right now. So GO! GO! GO!

What's wrong with me?

I'm calling you out. We should like do something or something. I've been hanging around to much ween these days. It's time for some good ol' vagina bonding. You down?

Word Verification.

Yeah. Sorry to anyone cool who has been posting comments on my blog. I really appreciate anything, even bad stuff, that the world would have to say about my brain. You all are now going to have to endure an extra step called "word verification." If you've noticed a fuck-ton of deleted comments on some of my posts it is because my page is being spammed and I am not, repeat NOT, down with that shit. It's true what they say, one person can ruin it for everyone. In this case, though, its electronic retards and mostly they are just making me sad. It's such a tease to see that little comment message in my inbox when it turns out to be the lamest of the lame.

STOP SPAMMING MY SHIT! I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!

I need to not get stoned before falling asleep with the intention of going to class the next morning. It's bad for business.

Also I feel like a retard because I can't properly use my graphing calculator therefore I'm not doing my homework (only some of it) because I can't for the life of me figure out how to graph y= log x. I know it's all basic and stupid but it's been a fucking long time since high school you shitheads!

An interesting discovery was made this evening. I was exposed to flavored popcorn- not just salt or butter or even cheese or caramel (care-a-mel). Flavors such as jelly bean or pumpkin pie, (nasty) bacon and cheese and the surprisingly not horribly blueberry were all put in front of me by my brother who had ventured into the Great Lakes Popcorn Company store on his vacation. He had even more revolting things such as Wild Walleye and Pina Colada that I didn't even go near (not down with pineapple flavored anything!). The best was the vanilla butternut which I plan to experiment with as an additive to normal snack foods. It would be amazing paired with a good cup of coffee. It also seemed to make the other flavors taste better, such as the pumpkin pie. Sounds strange, I know. It is.

I have birthday cake in my house and butterflies on my socks. What do you got?