I paused (4th finger on left hand holding down the shift key and middle finger of right hand paused on the "I" key) trying to come up with a direction for this first sentence for about a minute before actually typing. I do that a lot, pause with my fingers above keys, holding shift and awaiting the words to form themselves. I used to feel like the words guided my fingers when I typed but lately it feels the other way around. My fingers are commanding the words to come. It's not really all that much of a bad thing really. Just different. I guess all that matters is that the words appear. I will admitt it's a bit harder to write this way. When it felt like the words were guiding me writing made me feel so calm inside- even when the subject matter was angry or involved people being dismembered by axes. Now... Well, now it's just not like that. I still feel like I'm half holding my breath when I write. I have no idea why I do this. Maybe I get so focused on the writing and the words that I forget to breathe. hmm.