I feel dead inside.
It's a surreal feeling to be me right now. I know in my heart where my life is about to go but instead of standing up and running I'm sitting here watching it happen as if it were a movie. I have dreams like this. Dreams where I'm not even there- 3rd person dreams where I'm not even a character but my eyes are there watching the show. But this... this sucks. Knowing. Not knowing. Being led around like a puppy on a leash. Wondering when I'll be put out in a cardboard box on someone else's doorstep.
Did I just compare myself to a dog? ... Good grief.
I suck. Every time I sit down to write it's always the same. I'm sorry to whomever may actually read this. If I had something more interesting to say, than I'm not dead yet, I would. But as of now, my life is a pitiful mess.
Cheers. It's Monday. Time to drink a bottle of wine by myself. I love Tradition.
It's a surreal feeling to be me right now. I know in my heart where my life is about to go but instead of standing up and running I'm sitting here watching it happen as if it were a movie. I have dreams like this. Dreams where I'm not even there- 3rd person dreams where I'm not even a character but my eyes are there watching the show. But this... this sucks. Knowing. Not knowing. Being led around like a puppy on a leash. Wondering when I'll be put out in a cardboard box on someone else's doorstep.
Did I just compare myself to a dog? ... Good grief.
I suck. Every time I sit down to write it's always the same. I'm sorry to whomever may actually read this. If I had something more interesting to say, than I'm not dead yet, I would. But as of now, my life is a pitiful mess.
Cheers. It's Monday. Time to drink a bottle of wine by myself. I love Tradition.
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