So this is Christmas...
To me it felt like any other day. Except I got a card from my parents and was forced to spend the evening with about 25 of my relatives. I like most of them... But now it's over and everyone is gone and my house is quiet again and this is the part I like best about Christmas. The time when everything goes back to normal and disappointments don't feel as disappointing because they are just the every day variety. It somehow isn't as bad to be passed over and ignored, stood up or agitated by people when it isn't a holiday. (Note: That last statement doesn't make sense and I know this. I just wanted you to know that I know but decided to leave it there anyway.) I'm trying to remember a time when I liked Christmas and the holidays in general and it kind of sickens me. Is it a bad thing that I miss seeing presents under the tree and stockings actually hung by the fireplace, because I haven't seen that in years. It really isn't fair to say that I miss those things because "miss" isn't really the right word. All the effort behind the holiday is gone in my family and I'm actually pretty neutral on that subject. I'm looking forward to the year when I won't even see my family at Christmas. I'm looking forward to the year when I'm officially not having to participate in the holidays at my house. (That probably has a lot to do with the fact that for ever family event I do nothing but grunt work and manual labor the entire time and for days before hand.)
this post is stupid. I'm babbling about nothing- re-enforcing my last post about me not being able to write anymore. Was I right? Or was I right?
To me it felt like any other day. Except I got a card from my parents and was forced to spend the evening with about 25 of my relatives. I like most of them... But now it's over and everyone is gone and my house is quiet again and this is the part I like best about Christmas. The time when everything goes back to normal and disappointments don't feel as disappointing because they are just the every day variety. It somehow isn't as bad to be passed over and ignored, stood up or agitated by people when it isn't a holiday. (Note: That last statement doesn't make sense and I know this. I just wanted you to know that I know but decided to leave it there anyway.) I'm trying to remember a time when I liked Christmas and the holidays in general and it kind of sickens me. Is it a bad thing that I miss seeing presents under the tree and stockings actually hung by the fireplace, because I haven't seen that in years. It really isn't fair to say that I miss those things because "miss" isn't really the right word. All the effort behind the holiday is gone in my family and I'm actually pretty neutral on that subject. I'm looking forward to the year when I won't even see my family at Christmas. I'm looking forward to the year when I'm officially not having to participate in the holidays at my house. (That probably has a lot to do with the fact that for ever family event I do nothing but grunt work and manual labor the entire time and for days before hand.)
this post is stupid. I'm babbling about nothing- re-enforcing my last post about me not being able to write anymore. Was I right? Or was I right?
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home