I actually cried. Motherfuckers. What happened to me today didn't make me angry, more saddened and disappointed. Nothing feels better in the whole wide world than to feel like you're being misjudged and it hurts the worst when you find out that it was all discussed behind your back by people you would call friends. I really wish people would start talking to me about stuff, if they're so concerned about my choices and all. Call me a shithead, or a bitch or a stupid cunt or whatever you may be thinking but say it to my face. Who knows, maybe you're right. I'm not perfect either. I know there are a lot of people who don't really understand or see things the way that I do. My gift. My curse. But I'll say this and then I'll stop, I do what I do because it feels like the right thing for me to do. It feels good to like your life and more often than not, lately, I like mine. So why do people feel the need to rain on my parade?
Actually, I don't know why this has been bothering me so much anymore. In truth, at this exact moment, it isn't. I'm going to tell you that I don't care and that it's all sticks and stones, love. This post may be erased at some point. Wait and see, or not.
I'm done with those thoughts now.
There were many things that happened to me today that made me smile. If you haven't met Melvin yet, than you're missing out. He's the coolest! There was coffee and a very tasty grilled cheese sandwich- and that's just what I ate! A pretty pair of eyes showed me bookstores and other sorts of candy for my own to feast upon. I hope to see those eyes again soon. There was a swing set, jazz music, a kitten and a few cigarettes.
I glimpsed visions of my future and decided that all that I really want in life is a job that I won't hate myself for, an apartment in the city and a kitten. So far I'm 1 for 3 but it's better than nothing. (Three cheers for Melvin!) I saw myself, in time, as a full fledged vegetarian and a non-smoker (gasp!) who drinks a bottle of wine everyday and reads and edits manuscripts for a living. I could live with that.
I'd like to go longboarding. I think I'll do that when I wake up tomorrow. If only I could fly. Where do you think I'd go first?
Actually, I don't know why this has been bothering me so much anymore. In truth, at this exact moment, it isn't. I'm going to tell you that I don't care and that it's all sticks and stones, love. This post may be erased at some point. Wait and see, or not.
I'm done with those thoughts now.
There were many things that happened to me today that made me smile. If you haven't met Melvin yet, than you're missing out. He's the coolest! There was coffee and a very tasty grilled cheese sandwich- and that's just what I ate! A pretty pair of eyes showed me bookstores and other sorts of candy for my own to feast upon. I hope to see those eyes again soon. There was a swing set, jazz music, a kitten and a few cigarettes.
I glimpsed visions of my future and decided that all that I really want in life is a job that I won't hate myself for, an apartment in the city and a kitten. So far I'm 1 for 3 but it's better than nothing. (Three cheers for Melvin!) I saw myself, in time, as a full fledged vegetarian and a non-smoker (gasp!) who drinks a bottle of wine everyday and reads and edits manuscripts for a living. I could live with that.
I'd like to go longboarding. I think I'll do that when I wake up tomorrow. If only I could fly. Where do you think I'd go first?
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