There were so many faces in my dream last night. Some I faced with a blank stare while others I couldn't help smile at. Sometimes that's the only thing that I remember from my dreams, the faces. There are fragments of fear still tucked under my eyelids but it's not reflective of my expression today. I can't remember if he was there or if I was looking for him or he was looking for me or something along that line but I remember seeing his face.

I never ended up smoking my memories away last night. I got caught in conversation that toward the end had me killing a bottle of Baileys (at around 4:30am). It was another night of me falling asleep when my family was waking up and me waking up when my family is coming home from work. Today I got woken up by my bird, whose cage is on the exact opposite side of my L shaped house. He's our watch-bird and needed no training. He just does this- every time a car goes by his window (which would follow the path of our driveway) he calls out these very loud very shrill screeching whistles rhythmically for minutes at a time. He wakes me up all the way across the house with my door shut. Amazing.

Today I feel like hiding in the artificial blue light of my room all day with a bottle of wine to keep me company. I see no reason to want to see the sun today but soon nicotine will bend my will and I'll have to walk outside. It's cold outside and it's cold in my room. Today is going to be fab-u-lous!