.Her Life in a Box.
For the first years of her life she lived in a box. At first, the box fit her perfectly and she was happy dreaming in the dark. As she grew the box grew tighter, smaller, and one day she decided to cut a small hole in one of the sides. A beam of light flooded onto her face for the first time, blinding her. It felt like nothing she had ever dreamed of, so warm, and she was glad for it. As her eyes adjusted, she found that she could see the world that lay outside her box. How lovely the colors were. Though she did not know colors at first, in time she learned the names.
As the days past the one small hole on that side of her box wasn’t enough. She was curious as to what was on the other side. So, again, she cut another hole and marveled at what she could see. The warmth of light came onto her from both sides. She smiled quietly at the sight of an oak tree and grew happy watching birds nestle and squirrels climb among its branches. Of course she didn’t know their names at first, but in time she learned them.
At night when the world was dark she would close her eyes and wonder. What lay above her? She knew nothing of the word sky. So on a quiet and sleepless night she cut another hole in the top of her box. Oh, how amazing were the stars! In all her years of dark dreaming, she had never seen anything to match them in their beauty or wonder. When she saw a group of stars that seemed as if they belonged together she would, in her mind, connect them with lines. She made up stories about them. Those stars became friends to her. She was grateful of them coming out for her each night. Whenever she had bad dreams, she would look to them, shining in the sky, and they would comfort her.
As time went by and she grew older, her box became more full of holes. But she continued to be anxious to see more. She decided that holes would never be enough. She needed more, to see more, even though there was a part of her that was scared.
One day, spying out one of the holes, she saw a boy. He was smiling and he had with him a large red ball. She watched him play, throwing the red ball high into the air and then catching it. She longed to do what he did, to take hold of that ball and toss it in the air. She wanted to know what it felt like and how it smelled. She wanted it all. She looked up through the holes she had carved out of the top of her box and saw the blue sky and the white clouds.
She pressed her hands, flat on the surface of her box. It was smooth and cold, only her fingers escaped out through the holes. With everything she had in side her, she pushed upward on the top of her box. It lifted open and the light poured down on her, coating her body. It was so warm and lovely. Using the side of the box as a crutch she tried to stand. She had never used her legs before and she wobbled. She wanted to run to the little boy but she found, once setting her first foot onto the ground that the quickest she could move was a hobbling walk.
The grass felt magical, cool stiff strands. Everything smelled clean and wonderful. She could feel wind and it tickled her, blowing through her hair. Before she could realize what sound she was making, she laughed and the boy heard her. He smiled and lifted his hand to wave hello. She stopped rigid and still. The boy set the large red ball down on the grass and pushed it toward her. It bounced a little off her toe. It was amazing to her how something could feel heavy and light at the same time. It was so smooth, and where the sunlight hit it, it glowed white. She tossed it once in the air and watched it. She caught it and smiled at the boy.
She went on to discover many wonderful things. Ice cream. Swimming in the ocean. Music. Rain. She saw buildings and cars, she even rode in one. She met people and changed her clothes and hair. She fell in love. It had been years since she had even thought of her life in the box. But a day came when something inside her changed and nothing looked or felt as good as it first had. She looked around at what her life had become. She had responsibilities and things. She had money and friends. Still, something didn’t seem right. It was then that she thought about where it all began and remembered the box.
She packed a bag of clothes and things and took a taxi back to where she had first seen the little boy. She walked through a field and frowned at how her shoes were getting dirty so she took them off. Running now, through the grass in her bare feet, she came back to her box and saw it had not aged well. It was crumbled and full of holes. She tried to pick it back up, set the sides straight but it kept slumping back down. No matter what she did to it, the box just wasn’t the same anymore. So, she sat down in it, hugged the top, and cried. Then she realized that even if she could reshape the box it would never be big enough to hold her as she was.
You can’t ever go back.
For the first years of her life she lived in a box. At first, the box fit her perfectly and she was happy dreaming in the dark. As she grew the box grew tighter, smaller, and one day she decided to cut a small hole in one of the sides. A beam of light flooded onto her face for the first time, blinding her. It felt like nothing she had ever dreamed of, so warm, and she was glad for it. As her eyes adjusted, she found that she could see the world that lay outside her box. How lovely the colors were. Though she did not know colors at first, in time she learned the names.
As the days past the one small hole on that side of her box wasn’t enough. She was curious as to what was on the other side. So, again, she cut another hole and marveled at what she could see. The warmth of light came onto her from both sides. She smiled quietly at the sight of an oak tree and grew happy watching birds nestle and squirrels climb among its branches. Of course she didn’t know their names at first, but in time she learned them.
At night when the world was dark she would close her eyes and wonder. What lay above her? She knew nothing of the word sky. So on a quiet and sleepless night she cut another hole in the top of her box. Oh, how amazing were the stars! In all her years of dark dreaming, she had never seen anything to match them in their beauty or wonder. When she saw a group of stars that seemed as if they belonged together she would, in her mind, connect them with lines. She made up stories about them. Those stars became friends to her. She was grateful of them coming out for her each night. Whenever she had bad dreams, she would look to them, shining in the sky, and they would comfort her.
As time went by and she grew older, her box became more full of holes. But she continued to be anxious to see more. She decided that holes would never be enough. She needed more, to see more, even though there was a part of her that was scared.
One day, spying out one of the holes, she saw a boy. He was smiling and he had with him a large red ball. She watched him play, throwing the red ball high into the air and then catching it. She longed to do what he did, to take hold of that ball and toss it in the air. She wanted to know what it felt like and how it smelled. She wanted it all. She looked up through the holes she had carved out of the top of her box and saw the blue sky and the white clouds.
She pressed her hands, flat on the surface of her box. It was smooth and cold, only her fingers escaped out through the holes. With everything she had in side her, she pushed upward on the top of her box. It lifted open and the light poured down on her, coating her body. It was so warm and lovely. Using the side of the box as a crutch she tried to stand. She had never used her legs before and she wobbled. She wanted to run to the little boy but she found, once setting her first foot onto the ground that the quickest she could move was a hobbling walk.
The grass felt magical, cool stiff strands. Everything smelled clean and wonderful. She could feel wind and it tickled her, blowing through her hair. Before she could realize what sound she was making, she laughed and the boy heard her. He smiled and lifted his hand to wave hello. She stopped rigid and still. The boy set the large red ball down on the grass and pushed it toward her. It bounced a little off her toe. It was amazing to her how something could feel heavy and light at the same time. It was so smooth, and where the sunlight hit it, it glowed white. She tossed it once in the air and watched it. She caught it and smiled at the boy.
She went on to discover many wonderful things. Ice cream. Swimming in the ocean. Music. Rain. She saw buildings and cars, she even rode in one. She met people and changed her clothes and hair. She fell in love. It had been years since she had even thought of her life in the box. But a day came when something inside her changed and nothing looked or felt as good as it first had. She looked around at what her life had become. She had responsibilities and things. She had money and friends. Still, something didn’t seem right. It was then that she thought about where it all began and remembered the box.
She packed a bag of clothes and things and took a taxi back to where she had first seen the little boy. She walked through a field and frowned at how her shoes were getting dirty so she took them off. Running now, through the grass in her bare feet, she came back to her box and saw it had not aged well. It was crumbled and full of holes. She tried to pick it back up, set the sides straight but it kept slumping back down. No matter what she did to it, the box just wasn’t the same anymore. So, she sat down in it, hugged the top, and cried. Then she realized that even if she could reshape the box it would never be big enough to hold her as she was.
You can’t ever go back.
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