I feel like it's been so long since I've written anything- which is completely not true if you are counting short stories and that sort of thing. I just haven't thought much about my own mind lately enough to sit here and put it into words. There's so much I could say...

Starting tomorrow (though I don't think I'm going to go until Wednesday morning) I will be house sitting for a friend in the city. She's going to France and I'm get to look after her cats in a sweet ass apartment. I'm not getting paid much but anything is better than here. I'm slightly nervous about it- which is actually one of the main reasons why I'm doing it. It's outside of my "box" and it will force me to be by myself a lot of the time which I think, though I may not enjoy, it will be good for me. A test of sorts just to see if I can survive. Hopefully I won't die out there and then no one will know and the cats will eat my body and the smell will fill the hall...

I'm sick of having the same arguments. I'm sick of having to defend myself from things that I can't defend myself from that happened many years ago. I'm tired of feeling as if I'll never be on the level with certain people that I deserve to be. I don't like to be told what not to do. I hate anything that makes me feel as though someone is trying to put me in a cage. It won't happen. I'll do the opposite of whatever you tell me just to spite you and I'll run away crying on the inside. I'm tired of people telling me that it's not me that they don't trust its (insert title here) because I've been getting that since I was 12 years old and I didn't buy into it then- I sure as hell don't now.