I love it when I get random emails from strangers asking me why I'm so sad, or do I need help?
apparently...
No but seriously. It makes me think. Let me spill for a second here and maybe this will answer a few questions. First off, the whole depression thing:
I've sadly always thought that depression was really common, common cold common, but maybe I was wrong about that. I write out the crap that bothers me in that respect because I thought that maybe someone somewhere would get me, know exactly what I was talking about and just that thought made/makes me feel better. But maybe I was just kidding myself.
Life is wonderful when good days out weight bad ones, but the funny thing about that is when I'm on a high like that I never really want to stop and think about it, analyze it, or smother it to death. So I never really write about the good times and that's a sad fact. But I do have good times. Lots of them really. A million moments of happiness have led up to me sitting here typing.
So I tend to be pessimistic and sarcastic in my writing which I guess makes even what I would consider the good things to sound bad- or maybe I have my own weird way of reading between the lines that no one else does get- which would make me seriously reconsider my chosen field of study... But seriously!
As far as whether or not I "need help" ???
I'm pretty sure that I'm ok. There have been times when I have seriously questioned my existence and whether or not I agreed with it but all in all I'm happy to be alive. This past section (I've decided to break my life span apart in a way other than years which I will not go into right now) has been more of a turning point for me than getting my first period. It's like everything I've always been waiting for is knocking me in the face but just out of reach and it leaves me anxious and nervous because who knows what is in store for me in the months to come but all in all I welcome it. I figure it's normal, right? I mean if I really stop and think about it I am in a very much "in between" period. Not quite here but not quite there either but everything is going to start to change again very quickly very soon.
Soooo.. because I'm sick of thinking on my last night of freedom, for the record I really do like when people email me about things that I have posted, no matter the content, no matter the opinion. I really do wish someone would email me about a story or an expert that I have posted in the archives somewhere but I won't hold my breath about that. (Speaking of... I wrote a bit at 4am the other night in my journal and it turned out sleepy but an interesting take on a fairy tale. I will probably be typing it out tomorrow and reworking it a bit. Maybe someone will see it here soon!)
G'night!
apparently...
No but seriously. It makes me think. Let me spill for a second here and maybe this will answer a few questions. First off, the whole depression thing:
I've sadly always thought that depression was really common, common cold common, but maybe I was wrong about that. I write out the crap that bothers me in that respect because I thought that maybe someone somewhere would get me, know exactly what I was talking about and just that thought made/makes me feel better. But maybe I was just kidding myself.
Life is wonderful when good days out weight bad ones, but the funny thing about that is when I'm on a high like that I never really want to stop and think about it, analyze it, or smother it to death. So I never really write about the good times and that's a sad fact. But I do have good times. Lots of them really. A million moments of happiness have led up to me sitting here typing.
So I tend to be pessimistic and sarcastic in my writing which I guess makes even what I would consider the good things to sound bad- or maybe I have my own weird way of reading between the lines that no one else does get- which would make me seriously reconsider my chosen field of study... But seriously!
As far as whether or not I "need help" ???
I'm pretty sure that I'm ok. There have been times when I have seriously questioned my existence and whether or not I agreed with it but all in all I'm happy to be alive. This past section (I've decided to break my life span apart in a way other than years which I will not go into right now) has been more of a turning point for me than getting my first period. It's like everything I've always been waiting for is knocking me in the face but just out of reach and it leaves me anxious and nervous because who knows what is in store for me in the months to come but all in all I welcome it. I figure it's normal, right? I mean if I really stop and think about it I am in a very much "in between" period. Not quite here but not quite there either but everything is going to start to change again very quickly very soon.
Soooo.. because I'm sick of thinking on my last night of freedom, for the record I really do like when people email me about things that I have posted, no matter the content, no matter the opinion. I really do wish someone would email me about a story or an expert that I have posted in the archives somewhere but I won't hold my breath about that. (Speaking of... I wrote a bit at 4am the other night in my journal and it turned out sleepy but an interesting take on a fairy tale. I will probably be typing it out tomorrow and reworking it a bit. Maybe someone will see it here soon!)
G'night!
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