I don't wake up well these days. Half dead, I can barely find the will to speak and most of the time the real and alive think I'm sick. My dreams are poisoning me. Sleep is finding me later and later again. I'm now falling asleep to the sounds of birds chirping near my window. The sun also rises... And when I fall, I crash and I'm out for the count and my mind does horrible things to me. I can't even tell you, but I take it every time. In fact, I almost beg for it because I find myself having moments of semi-consciousness that could end all of it in the blink of an eye but I clench my eyes closed and roll over back into the darkness.

That world feels more real to me sometimes. When I retrace time I have to rework what was in my head from what I've actually done. I keep waiting for a monster to find me in my sleep and end me- a real Nightmare come alive.