Apparently this is my 425th post. Crazy.
I feel broken today, jaded a bit. I'm not sure why. Last night I found myself inspired and the rebirth of a story was fresh in my head but as I sit here now I can't seem to bring myself to write anything constructive. It feels like too much.
The kittens are gone. Didn't I tell you? My neighbor was feeding a cat and it had kittens in my back yard. I spent an hour on the phone calling 50 billion places yesterday trying to find a no-kill situation for these cutest of animals. They're gone today though. Who knows. Good luck, kitties.
I'm feeling the need to disappear again today. I wish I could be invisible, lock myself away in darkness for a while and wait for this feeling inside me go away. I would be blinded when I stepped back out. Back out towards who? My loneliness astounds even me.
I feel broken today, jaded a bit. I'm not sure why. Last night I found myself inspired and the rebirth of a story was fresh in my head but as I sit here now I can't seem to bring myself to write anything constructive. It feels like too much.
The kittens are gone. Didn't I tell you? My neighbor was feeding a cat and it had kittens in my back yard. I spent an hour on the phone calling 50 billion places yesterday trying to find a no-kill situation for these cutest of animals. They're gone today though. Who knows. Good luck, kitties.
I'm feeling the need to disappear again today. I wish I could be invisible, lock myself away in darkness for a while and wait for this feeling inside me go away. I would be blinded when I stepped back out. Back out towards who? My loneliness astounds even me.
1 Comments:
I cant say I understand your situation. I will say, I feel the same. Covered in hate each morning I was myself of my sins and put on a mask so that others around me believe me to be sane and happy. If they only knew how much hate I used in the bigsandbox before I got to come home. Its weird you serve your country and return home with some nightmares of the things you did to live, and people around you treat you like a hero, never knowing you have ever been bathed in the blood of an enemy you never hated till you were told. Carry on, each day.
email me at DevilDogChrisJ@yahoo.com if you ever just want to chat.
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