I feel empty these days, lost in my own head. I never know exactly what I can look forward to anymore. I often wonder what the point is. For a while I was still diluted, with the idea of falling in love, but even that has left me again. I am hollow inside and it's eating away at me. Soon there won't be anything left.

I want to go back to the time where I felt like I had everything in the world to look forward to. I want to go back to the place where I felt content, or better. It all seems so hard, hard to swallow, and there's no trace of a silver lining left anywhere for me to follow. I wish I knew which way I was supposed to go but the truth is I know that I need to lead my own path in this life and I must go it alone. It would be fine, except for the fact that I don't have any desire to go on anymore. Abandoned by everyone, even my self, I fear of going into another dark place and maybe this time I won't make it out alive.

I used to love surprises, now I fear them. All roads point to shit.