New car... in a few hours I'll driving home something that looks like this (except in black, of course).

I'm actually excited about it, believe it or not. But the thing about this new car is a bit more unnerving than actually just cool. My parents are buying me this car. They feel that this most generous of gifts is supposed to inspire me and be a sort of good luck charm for my life. I'm sorry. I'd never say that I didn't want this car, but seriously, how is a car supposed to improve my life that much. What I really need is a fucking job! The whole lack of income thing is my real problem. It's a viscous cycle (another one!) where I sleep too much because I don't have a job but because I sleep too much I don't look for a job. Right now I'm slacking because I'm still waiting to hear back from Follett... but really I am just that awesome (not!).

I'm bringing "not" jokes back. I thank the Borat movie for reminding me how really genius they are.


I'm looking forward to a month or so from now when I'm either still not working or working a shitty retail job and my life in general hasn't improved. When my mom will see me continually walking around the house in a depressed haze and not sleeping normally. I'm waiting for them to say, "We bought you a car! What else do you want from us?" And I'll laugh because I won't know what else to do and then they'll yell and probably kick me out. At least I'll have a new car to sleep in...