When everyone I know who's attached to someone is getting engaged, I can't help but feel as though my brain wants to turn itself into mush and escape through my ear while I sleep. I can't help but wonder if previous events hadn't taken place if I would be in a different life altering situation myself. I can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me because marriage is the last thing I see and want in my future... but then again I've never been proposed to (not seriously anyhow).
It's like a disease though. Once someone you know gets engaged then all of a sudden it's a wake up call. Like my mother with her breast cancer. It's a dull slap to the forehead and it makes you wonder, Shouldn't I go to the doctor? I might have cancer too. How much do I really like this guy? Shouldn't I be engaged? I'm in my mid twenties for fuck sake! What's wrong with me?
And then I stop and think and realize, nothing is wrong with me. Or that's what I'm telling myself right now.
It's just this whole nesting bug that is plaguing my peers right now is starting to scare the shit out of me. (What doesn't these days...) Since when did we become miniature versions of our parents? It's so all of a sudden and I'm running away with my fingers in my ears singing la la la I'm not listening! Am I alone in this? Am I wrong? (calmer than you are) I mean, really! I am in fact in my mid twenties and this is supposed to be the high point right? Prime time! Seize the day! kind of shit is supposed to be flocking to my immortal youthfulness (that is slipping away). Get it while you can! Get it while it's hot! Buy a condo! Pick up a mortgage! Get married! Have children! Upgrade to a house! White picket fences and rose bushes! Buy a mother fucking MINI VAN! Cash in your ovaries and your chips, 'cause you're done. Do you have cancer yet? Have you paid off that mortgage? Your kids are going to college? Did you save for them? Savings bonds? What? 401 Kiss my ass!
I just threw up a little in my mouth...
Ask me about how I'm quitting smoking...
Do I have cancer yet? I'm almost sick thinking about all the sickness that lies ahead of me.
On a really really serious note about all this though... I'm sublimely happy for all my friends who have recently decided that marriage was their thing. For the record. I'm just (still) insane.
It's like a disease though. Once someone you know gets engaged then all of a sudden it's a wake up call. Like my mother with her breast cancer. It's a dull slap to the forehead and it makes you wonder, Shouldn't I go to the doctor? I might have cancer too. How much do I really like this guy? Shouldn't I be engaged? I'm in my mid twenties for fuck sake! What's wrong with me?
And then I stop and think and realize, nothing is wrong with me. Or that's what I'm telling myself right now.
It's just this whole nesting bug that is plaguing my peers right now is starting to scare the shit out of me. (What doesn't these days...) Since when did we become miniature versions of our parents? It's so all of a sudden and I'm running away with my fingers in my ears singing la la la I'm not listening! Am I alone in this? Am I wrong? (calmer than you are) I mean, really! I am in fact in my mid twenties and this is supposed to be the high point right? Prime time! Seize the day! kind of shit is supposed to be flocking to my immortal youthfulness (that is slipping away). Get it while you can! Get it while it's hot! Buy a condo! Pick up a mortgage! Get married! Have children! Upgrade to a house! White picket fences and rose bushes! Buy a mother fucking MINI VAN! Cash in your ovaries and your chips, 'cause you're done. Do you have cancer yet? Have you paid off that mortgage? Your kids are going to college? Did you save for them? Savings bonds? What? 401 Kiss my ass!
I just threw up a little in my mouth...
Ask me about how I'm quitting smoking...
Do I have cancer yet? I'm almost sick thinking about all the sickness that lies ahead of me.
On a really really serious note about all this though... I'm sublimely happy for all my friends who have recently decided that marriage was their thing. For the record. I'm just (still) insane.
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