My sleep schedule is impossibly fucked up. I'm tired of it. And I'm bored. The suburbs are boring. I realize that this thought isn't anything new and not in any way productive or worth mentioning but damn it, it's true.

For the record I still have a healthy vision of where I'd like to be in the (hopefully more near than distant) future and despite the fact that more than one person has called me extremely self destructive and horribly unmotivated lately... ehem... At least I know that I'm not hopeless. It's been a while since I've allowed myself to look forward to the future and I admit that for a long time I was wallowing and more or less hiding. I know that I'm not out of the woods yet- in fact I have a long way to go but I'll get there. You'll see.