I wear corduroy pants so you can't accuse me of walking too softly. On nights when shadows bend to reveal other things to my eyes, I sit awake. Moments like these I find myself very much aware of my toes. Nail, skin, blood, and bone. I can trace the lines of my circulation system in my mind. Tickles always hit me first in my stomach. Sometimes I really do wish the world would decide to spin backwards while I was sleeping. I could really wake up and feel change. Accept it. Live with it. Sometimes I wonder about the man who thought of money. I think if I could only keep one book for the rest of my life it would have to be the world's greatest thesaurus. I'm waiting for science to develop brain altering surgery that will allow one's subconscious to selectively highlight and delete certain memories; possibly alter the order of things that are thought of, such as pushing less desirable thoughts backward. I wish I could remember the first time I was brave enough to jump off a swing set. For some reason I feel like it should have been a milestone, thus important to be rememberbed. Testing life. Finding an element of courage in my shy youth. I actually really don't know what my diagnonsense is and I don't know what I look like with my eyes closed. Wear comfortable shoes. It's possible to become so incredibly bored that you lose your appetite. I once realized that I had been eating nothing but bread (more or less... less) for three straight days. I couldn't decide if that made me happy or not. Still can't. The sweet part is always the payoff, or vice versa.